The Last Experiment Conducted at LUE
Jennifer Cheng
Jennifer Cheng is an ECHS freshman. This is her first piece for FM, and one of the first two by freshmen to appear in FM. This story presents an interesting view of an elite university.
Dr. Ludberg is conducting an experiment to see how intelligent African grey parrots can be. He has purchased two extraordinary ones which can even communicate with people. Dr. Ludberg is now working for himself and is a member of his own Ludberg University of Experiments (LUE). LUE is located in England and was build on a misty plateau overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. The structure of the building is built out of stone and looks like a castle with its little windows, four towers, and secret chambers. Every night the wolves rendezvous at the top of the little hill to sing a midnight song to the moon. When the moon is bright, strange shadows fall upon LUE. The backyard of LUE is a graveyard that is starting to crumble off of the plateau cliff and into the ocean. The famous nickname for LUE is "Transylvania II".
One of the two African grey parrots that arrived at LUE died three months ago. The remaining parrot is being kept in a large cage in the east dungeon. At the west dungeon, Dr. Ludberg's assistant, Jonathan Crane has just set up his bio-chemistry lab.
"Hi, I'm Jonathan Crane, a futuristic LUE graduate. I was drafted here from Cambridge University because of my reputation of being clumsy and talking to myself. Well, I can't help being born naturally clumsy, can I? Haeek! Haeek! Snort, snort. However, Dr. Ludberg likes me because he always talks to himself, too. We have something in common... Ouch! I just burned myself with the candle. Humm. I remember that ever since I was a kid the other children always always laughed at my colorful plaid pants, white long sleeves shirt, my trusty blue pocket protector which was my favorite colored pocket protector, and my very own specialized thick black glasses that helped me read. Haeek! Haeek! Snort, snort. Well, that was yesterday, snort, but really nothing about me has changed really. Well, haeek! Haeek! My clothes size have changed. Snort. Hee, hee, hee. Well, I better go... uh... What was I going to do? Umm, let me see. Oh yeah! I have to check up on the parrot."
He walks toward the east dungeon. Clomp, clomp. "Woo-ooh!" Splat! "Ouch! I, snort, snort, just tripped over my feet. Luckily, there weren't any stairways here."
* * * * *
"Whew! I made it here without falling on my face again. Hey, look at that beautiful parrot. Haeek! I named it 'Jabber' because it reminded me of Aunt Jabber who loved to talk. I don't know why, but I just don't like the name Dr. Ludberg gave her: Lie-yell. Snort, snort. How ya doin', Jabber? Do you want some sunflower seeds for breakfast? Uh? Do ya? Do ya?"
"Swack! Swack! What's your name? What's your name?" the parrot asks Jon while pacing back and forth on the bar.
"My name is Jonathan Crane, and you, Jabber, can call me Jon for short."
This is not the first time Jabber talked. Jon is instructed to write down what the parrot says for Dr. Ludberg's experiment. If the bird does not talk, the remark page for that day will be "The bird didn't talk." But that has not happened yet.
* * * * *
"Jon, I heard Dr. Ludberg talking to himself and saying that he is going to make a plan to kill you. Swack! Because he doesn't like your personality and the way you talk." Jabber informs Jon suspiciously.
"No, Jabber, I don't believe a word you said. Snort, snort. Dr. Ludberg is a very nice person, and he respects me a lot." Jon replies with a confident notion.
"Swack! Jon I'm doing you a favor by telling you to save your life before it's too late! Swack! Swack!"
"Well, thanks anyway, Jabber. Now, you, you, umm, you parrot, better take a nap or something. Snort, snort."
"Swack! Swack! I warned ya Jon," the parrot replies in a possessed way.
The conversation diminishes and slowly Jon dozes off in the comfortable chair near the parrot. Two or three hours pass away, and it is now Dr. Ludberg's shift to observe the parrot. The Doctor walks in the dungeon.
"Aha! Mr. Crane, why did you fall asleep while observing this parrot?" The doctor has a strange expression on his face when he says that.
"Oh, uh, ya, hi! Dr. Ludberg. I'm sorry. I was so tired and bored that I just couldn't stay awake." Jon's face turns a little pale when he sees Dr. Ludberg's black suitcase.
"That's all right, Jon. I can understand your dozing off in the afternoon. Well, it's almost six o'clock. Let's go eat dinner. I'll watch over the bird after dinner," the Doctor says in a reassuring voice.
* * * * *
After dinner, Dr. Ludberg goes to take his shift at the dungeon. Then, the parrot starts to talk again about how Jon is going to make a plan to kill him. This time the parrot's reason is that Jon isn't satisfied of what he is getting here at LUE. Here is Dr. Ludberg's reply to the parrot.
"Oh, but Lie-Yell, you're only a parrot. What could you possibly know what Jon's thinking and what he wants?" Dr. Ludberg's voice is soft and considerate.
"Well, Doc, he was observing me, swack, in the morning, and he started to tell me all these things. He, swack! swack!, threatened to pluck my beautiful feathers one by one if I didn't keep quiet."
"Humm," the doctor wonders with his eyebrows knit tightly together.
"Oh, Doc, spare me! Help me keep my feathers, and I'll help you keep your life. Swack! Swack!" Lie-yell flaps her wings crazily to create a panicking display.
"Okay, Lie-yell, you've got yourself a deal. Now tell me what Jon said about his plans to kill me," the Doctor says in a serious tone of voice.
"Doc, I advise you to stay away from your bedroom, because Jon is going to put sleeping powder in your bed and stab...No, wait. It's worse than that. He is gonna, swack!, pour a bacteria on you which wil, swack, eat you alive!" After saying that, the parrot falls off the wooden bar and goes unconscious for a few minutes.
* * * * *
After the parrot regains its senses, the Doctor asks, "Lie-yell, what can I do to save my life? Hum, I know I'll sleep in a guest room that has a door that lead to the backyard. If Jon does come after me, I can escape through the other door."
"Swack! Swack! That way you'll live, but you have to help me escape, too. Remember, I was the one who told you all this."
"Yes. You're right. I'll tie a string to this lock. If you pull the string from inside of the cage, the lock will become unlatched and you can fly freely. How's that?"
The Doctor and Lie-yell are both satisfied and prepared for Jon's plan to kill. For the next two days, the Doctor keeps a sharp eye on Jon.
Jon finally believes Jabber in that Dr. Ludberg is watching him closely, and is also planning to kill him at the right time. Jon goes to his morning shift feeling frustrated and uneasy.
"Jabber, what is Dr. Ludberg planning to do? You know what I mean. Please tell me! Haeek! Snort, Snort."
"Well, swack!, to tell you the truth. He's going to go into your lab when you aren't there and take your Bunsen-burner and light your bed on fire when you're asleep."
"Huh, umm, snort, snort. What can I do to stop him from burning me? Huh? Snort, snort."
"Tell you what, swack! swack! You should produce a bacteria that can eat a person alive. So when you see Doc in your room, pour the bacteria on him. Swack!"
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Jabber. You are a genius. I can create that bacteria monster in three days. Yeah! That ought to teach Dr. Ludberg, snort, snort, not to mess with me, Jonathan Crane." With a devilish smile, Jon walks to his bio-chemistry lab.
For two nights neither Dr. Ludberg nor Jon sees each other. The parrot is left unattended in his cage. Feeling bored with no one to talk to, the parrot pulls the string and flies out of his cage. The lab is left open so the parrot flies out silently. The clock strikes twelve.
At the bio-chemistry lab, Jon has just finished the killer bacteria. "Ahh! Haeek! Haeek! Now Dr. Ludberg will be surprised to see me ready for him. Snort, snort. Hey! I didn't spill anything while I was doing my creation. Haeek! Haeek!" Jon, laughing too hard just accidently spills the bacteria on himself. At a moderate speed, the bacteria start to disolve Jonathan Crane.
Dr. Ludberg has just gone to sleep, and suddenly he is awaken by the noise the parrot makes when it flies into the guest room.
"Aah! It's Jon! He's going to kill me!" The doctor runs out into the graveyard. Soon after a few feet, the Doctor trips and falls on the gravestone of "the Count". Dr. Ludberg's head is cracked open and the blood slowly drips into the Count's tomb and onto his body. A restlessness can be heard underneath the dead body of Dr. Ludberg. The parrot flies out the back door to the graveyard and knocks herself out when she hits a body that is rising up from the grave.
* * * * *
Two days later a young journalist from Cambridge arrived at LUE at 4 P.M. to write on an article on Dr. Ludberg and his experiment. The front door was open, so he conjectured that Dr. Ludberg was somewhere in the building. His curiousity led him to the east dungeon where he found a tape recorder and a black suitcase full of unmarked tapes. These items were by the parrot's cage. The journalist played a tape. At the end of the tape a deep man's voice said, "I hope you have enjoyed listening to Dr. Madden's World of Experiments Volume XVI. Don't forget to tune in on Dr. Madden's radio broadcast every Saturday at 6 P.M. on dial 660 AM (KHEL). Next week Dr. Madden will feature The Return of The Count from Transylvania II." As the tape stopped, a shadow overthrows the journalist. A gasp for air squealed out, and The Count had his first evening drink since his awakening.
Copyright 1988 by Jennifer Cheng. Unauthorized duplication,
posting, or publication is strictly prohibited. |